Jealousy of others can be a dream killer, but the reverse is also true. When we are jealous of others, we set ourselves back by comparison, and not living up to our own expectations. Competitors can be your friends. It’s a paradigm shift of sorts where instead of resenting their success, embrace it and learn from them. You may be surprised at how willing they will be to offer advice and counsel. In fact, they might even become your biggest fan.
Find the Right Path
Step away from the naysayers, in the emotional sense. Meaning, don’t rely or depend on them for encouragement. Find others that are on your same path and walk with them. Your journey of self-discovery is continually changing, and that’s a good thing. Picture yourself on a narrow-wooded path toward your goals and you come to a fork. You’re standing there unsure of which direction to take. You could guess, after all you have a fifty-fifty chance of getting it right, but then something happens. One of your dream killers walks up behind you and points you to the left urging you to stray from your goal, but along comes a mentor, or two, and perhaps even an entire group of smiling faces that’s been down the path to the right, and they are willing to show you the traps to avoid so that you may be successful. I would imagine you’d choose the right path.
Dream Instillers are those people in your life that want the best for you. They cheer you on when you’re having a hard time accomplishing your goals. They are the ones that encourage you, believe in you, and dig in and help when needed.
One of my dreams was to write a book, but I shied away from it. I didn’t think I had the ‘right’ education for it, or at least the type of education that I perceived was needed to become an author, but I’d written drama sketches that were performed in front of live audiences. Those performances were well received, and boosted my confidence. I was asked to write a short story for a book called, Walking with the Living God, and it became published. (I’ll tell you more about that at another time.) Anyway, one day, I met a lovely woman that was looking for a dress for her book launch (I co-owned a boutique at the time), and she was kind and excited to share about her books and her experience. She was a lot like me—a regular person, and I figured, if she could do it, why couldn’t I?
Be Your Own Instiller
First, I had to be my own dream instiller. I had to believe in myself because if I didn’t, how would anyone else? My second was my husband, but he’s biased because he loves me, however, I was blessed to have his support on my journey of becoming an author. It was then, that I sought out others that would hold me accountable; they were trusted, tried, and true. With their support, and my perseverance and drive; I succeeded. Since then, I’ve become acquainted with other authors, and other entrepreneurs, that keep me on the right path to success.
A dream instiller is one of the most valuable people that you can have in your life. Perhaps your dream is to be the best mother you can be, the best teacher, the best author, etc. Finding these people is easier than you think. Look for people you aspire to emulate, but be sure that you remain you! Your success isn’t to be just like who you look up to, your success is achieving your goals when you are authentically you.
Resources and suggestions for seeking Instillers:
Sometimes, your best instiller is you, but we can also be our own dream killer if we allow it.
The Imposter Syndrome: with Anna Hayes-Harless
An imposter syndrome and self-doubt coach empowering you from dream to reality.
She Built This™ is an uplifting online community of entrepreneurs and professionals creating the new normal together. It is a place where women come together to encourage one another, share ideas, bounce them off of each other, and forge new relationships and friendships. The group offers authenticity, resources, and collaboration opportunities to new and aspiring entrepreneurs.
Seek people and groups on social media within your field and build relationships.
If you are a member of a church, reach out within your small group for accountability.
Join local business-related organizations such as Business Network International (BNI).